Future Needs
by Aileene
Summary: The future is just the next generation's past....somethings have to happen to make sure that other things do not.Eventually going to be Nightwing & Raven. On Hiatus as of January 2008 due to health.
1. Chapter 1

**I have no idea where this one came from and I am not too terribly sure that it is going to be any good ( that it even is at this point lol) but I wanted to post it and get your take on it. So Read and Review...and please be kind :) And yes this will eventually be Raven/Nightwing, just not sure when.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, Nada, Not Mine...but like I have said I have sturdy bedposts to chain Nightwing too if I ever get the opportunity :P**

Raven understood the magnitude of Starfire's trip to the future far better than the others. She knew, after she survived her prophecy, what had to be done. No matter the pain and helplessness it caused in the others, she had to be there when the time came or everything would fall. She would do her best to make amends after the fact, but if she did not act then there would be no future for the Titans.

Even if things did not follow the same path as the original future, their destination would be the same. If they were not all in the places that they should be, there would be no Nightwing and there would be no one there when Star appeared for the help that she would so desperately need. These things were worth the sacrifice that Raven felt she had to make.

Warp may have been a criminal, but he spoke the truth when he said that history could not be changed and every future was another generation's history. So she left the Titans, she disappeared without word or trace and her heart broke at the family she had left behind.

She kept track of them over the years, silently watching them age. Starfire had returned to Tamaran to lead her people instead of disappearing. Cyborg stayed with the tower and helped to coordinate the new and younger group of Titans with Beastboy; Robin had become Nightwing, just as he was supposed to. None of them had ever found Raven, although they had looked long and hard for her. Some of them still did.

They never looked in the place that they should have though, she hid in plain sight at an asylum. No, she hadn't given into madness, but she knew when Star came for help that this is where she would look. So she sat in her white room meditating and remembering what used to be.

"Raven?" The voice was older, but it was still as childlike as it had always been, hopeful and hesitating in matters she was unsure of.

"So, it is time." Raven replied, her heart thankful that the wait was over. It had only been fifteen years, not the twenty originally set down, but it had still been an interminable long wait.

"You are not outside your mind?" Starfire's voice revealed her shock

"Not yet anyway." Raven said turning to her old friend. "You look good Starfire; the years have been kind to you."

"In some ways they have my friend, but not in others." Starfire's mind thought rapidly over the situation, this had not been the encounter she had prepared for. "You are here on purpose." It wasn't really a question.

"I have been here waiting for you to come." Raven answered anyway. "It didn't take as long as I expected." She shrugged and took down the hood of her white cloak and started to walk out of the room. "Are you coming? You can tell me what you need while we look for the others."

"Why did you leave Raven?" Starfire's voice was quiet as she followed Raven down the dark hallway of the asylum and she tried to ignore the screams of the insane that echoed all around her.

"Because you needed me now Star." With a wave of her hand, she opened a portal through the wall and they headed out into the snowy evening to look for the rest of their team.

"I do not think I understand."

"How did you know where to find me Star?" Raven asked the question softly as she turned her head to look at her old friend and she saw the implication of it hit its mark.

"You knew? How did you know?"

"I don't know what you need, only that you need me." She paused, hovering over the buildings of her old city, "That was all I knew then as well. It was all I needed to know."

"You left the past, to be here in this future…for me?" Starfire shook her head as the complexity of the concept fought its way to being understood.

"Pretty much," Raven sent out a small amount of her empathetic power, glad she had used the last fifteen years to hone her abilities and not lose her mind. "I know where Beastboy and Cyborg are, Robin will be slightly harder to find. We should search for him first."

"You gave us up then…to help me now?" Finally the labyrinth of her thoughts had reached their conclusion and Starfire felt infinitely sad as she understood everything that her friend had given up to be here in this moment now. "I still do not fully understand why you had to leave us, but I thank you deeply for what you do now."

"If I hadn't left something worse would have happened to put us in these positions or you would be without the help you need now," She sighed and paused in midair again to look at Star. "I cared for you all too much to let that happen; the others may not be as understanding or as welcoming as you are Star, so be prepared."

"You are our friend, they will greet you with open arms or I shall open those arms for them." Starfire's response was typical and heartwarming, Raven felt some of the cracks that she had put in her heart begin to heal.

"We shall see." Raven replied with a turn of her lips that could almost be classified a smile.

"Let us go and find Friend Robin, it has been too long since we have been together as a team and I have much need of your help." Starfire encouraged warmly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well here is Chapter two. It is coming out a little abstract right now, but I promise it will make sense as we go on. In the next chapter Star will explain the emergency...of course it will have to do with a former villian, some things can't be changed :) which is why Raven made the sacrifices she did.**

**Re-uploaded to change a few things and correct a few mistakes **

**Read and Review**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

"Are you sure this is the place?" Star looked slightly apprehensive at the thought that Robin would be inside such a dark and cold place. The abandon clock tower loomed high above the city they had traveled through the night to reach, and even with the dawn pinking the sky, the shadows never moved from the tower.

"Yes, this is where he is now." Raven paused and wondered if she should warn her friend of the changes in Robin, but decided against all but a small warning. "Remember, he is no longer Robin."

"Yes," Sadly Star looked at Raven, "I remember, but for the sake of our worlds, I hope something still remains."

"We can not change destiny Star, not the outcome. I have discovered that, he will help if only because he is still a hero." Raven replied. "Be wary as we enter, he will be as paranoid as ever, I would hate to be caught in one of his traps."

"I agree completely." Star lowered her voice to a whisper as they entered the building through a window on the third story.

They moved quietly, but without stealth, Raven knew that Robin…no it was Nightwing now, had seen them before they had entered the building. She was only hoping his anger at her would be negated by his joy in seeing Starfire again, as well as the curiosity about what brought them here.

Starfire entered the room at the top of the tower seconds before Raven and if Raven hadn't been paying such close attention to their surroundings she would have ran right into Star's back.

"This is," Star whispered reverently as memories flashed through her mind. "This is so much like before."

"Some things are meant to change so others do not." Was Raven's only response, as she stepped up and beside the hovering alien girl.

"Hello Starfire," A disembodied voice greeted from the shadows.

"Robin?" Star stepped forward, towards the voice, her hand raised with a star bolt cushioned in its grasp to light the way.

"Not anymore," He stepped from the darkness, his costume the same as the one she had seen when she had made that fateful trip to the future. Black with a blue bird across his chest; a black mask still covering his eyes. "I haven't been Robin for a very long time."

He studiously ignored the woman at her right, something both women noticed.

"Hello…" Raven paused for significance; after all she wasn't without her own flair for the dramatic. "Nightwing."

"To what do I owe the honor?" His lip curled slightly hiding his anger and pain behind a carefully placed mask of indifference.

"We have a great need." Starfire replied, "I need my friends once again."

"Some of us are no longer friends Star."

"That does not matter, I need the Titans." She insisted firmly, eyes pleading for him to listen.

"Come in, I'll hear what you have to say, but remember that the Titans are no longer what they once were." Nightwing responded, "And I am no longer a Titan."

"You are still my friend." Starfire whispered gently.

"That remains to be seen." The harshness of his words impacted Star like a physical blow, one that left her gasping for air. Nightwing ignored her reaction and turned to head deeper into his home.

"He is not as he once was." Starfire said to Raven as they followed behind. "He is not my Robin anymore."

"He hasn't been your Robin for so long I doubt he remembers him." Raven answered, wondering if anything else would hurt as badly as Nightwing's coldness. Not that she had expected open arms and smiles, but she hadn't quite expected her heart to feel this much pain.

"Some of us were never who the others thought we were." Nightwing's statement was carefully blank and Raven fought against the unnatural desire to defend her past actions, something she had never had to do with him before, then again fifteen years was a long time.

A shrill beeping interrupted Raven before she could say anything; it was coming from a device at Starfire's waist.

"Excuse me…I must answer or my people will worry." Star replied to the other two, she took a step back and they proceeded ahead of her as she began to murmur greetings into her communicator.

The center of the area was fairly well lit, a control setup reminiscent to the one they had used as Titans; control room, kitchen and a cot all in one room. Raven chose a chair at the table and sat, letting her cloak fall around her and wishing she dared to raise her hood to cover herself from his penetrating gaze.

"So you aren't insane," He spoke offhand, "And you aren't dead."

"You could have found me if you would have looked in the right place, I never moved." She kept her reply carefully apathetic and her body void of emotion.

"I shouldn't have had to look for you." Accusation now lined his voice as he took a chair across from her, his emotion difficult for her to read after all this time.

Only when he crossed her thoughts had she ever felt true guilt for what she had done, but she knew better than anybody that it needed to be done.

"I couldn't change what had to be done," She met his gaze without flinching, "Not even for you."

Robin had never been slow to understand and Nightwing appeared to hold that same characteristic. "You could have told me."

"It would have been irresponsible of me to do so," She gave in and sighed with a shake of her head. "It would have been pointless, it couldn't have been changed."

"You wouldn't have had to be alone." And she suddenly understood he wasn't angry at her for himself, or at least not altogether, he was angry for her; for the loneliness he knew she had suffered; for the battle against insanity, that though she had won he knew she had fought.

"Friends, events are quickly spiraling out of control." She glanced towards Raven, to whom she had explained things to on the flight over. "More children have gone missing."

"You'll have to explain this to me Star," Nightwing turned from Raven and leveled a questioning gaze at the alien girl that looked so much like she had when they first met that he had felt himself pulled back into their former friendship against his will. "What do you mean by missing?"


	3. Chapter 3

**We find out the emergency, not much action in this chapter, but I believe I got across what I needed to so I can move on to the next point. :) **

**Read and Review :)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them.**

Starfire began hesitantly, floating back and forth in her version of pacing. "It is simple really; the children from my world are being taken. Where they are we do not know, through our investigations of this we have discovered that children on your Earth are beginning to disappear as well."

"I haven't heard anything about it." Nightwing replied his mind turning the matter over in his head, already trying to find a solution.

"The children missing belong to high ranking members of your politics. They are given notes saying that as long as no authority is notified their children will be safe. Then the child stealers force these people to pass laws or not pass laws in order to have their children returned." Starfire smoothed a hand down her lavender skirt. "After the demands are met, the children are returned. Nobody reports this because they fear what will happen if they do."

"So they aren't hurting the children then, just using them as pawns. It seems simple enough to find them and end this, why are you here? What do you need from me?" Nightwing was confused, he would get to the bottom of this, but it didn't really seem nefarious enough to warrant Starfire being here, or Raven coming out of hiding.

"I am Queen of Tameran." Starfire's eyes began to glow and she stopped pacing to stare at Nightwing.

"I'm aware of that Star, and I know that you worry for your people. This is a serious matter, but it doesn't seem that the Titans have to reform for this." Nightwing shook his head and glanced at Raven. She met his gaze with a knowing look and he realized that there was more going on here than met the eye.

"They took her daughter." Raven said quietly her voice seemed to echo throughout the room. "They are making demands of Starfire that she can't capitulate to, but they have her daughter."

"What are they asking?" Nightwing asked turning his attention to Star, forcing himself to remain seated as he watched the tears run down her face. "Can't you just give a show of giving into their demands until they return her?"

Raven shook her head at him in a way that threw him back fifteen years; she stood and wrapped her arms around the shuddering shoulders of the alien girl. "Who ever is doing this has asked Starfire to declare war on Earth; they have demanded that she destroy the Titans." She paused to let that sink in. "The original Titans, us."

"War?" He shook his head to clear it; Starfire's people were some of the best warriors in the universe. War with them would be detrimental to the Earth and to the Tameranians. The death threat that had been lobbied at him and the rest of the Titans didn't faze him; it wasn't the first one that had been tossed their way.

"I can not do this Rob…Nightwing," She stared at him, pleading and demanding at the same time. "I can not declare war with your Earth, too many would die; too much would be lost, but I will not lose my Mari, she is all I have left of the man I love."

Nightwing stared at Raven, not knowing why he had fallen back into the old routine of looking to her for support or suggestions. He shouldn't trust her, he shouldn't care for her or let her beneath his shields, he still hurt too much from the last time he had done that.

Raven met his look, her eyes calm; her face set in passive lines. She could read the turmoil running through him now, the old bond had finally burst open and she tried not to wince at the emotions that ran down it.

"You will help, yes?" Hope and despair warred across Starfire's expression, the tears that had been glittering in her eyes poured unchecked down her cheeks. "You must." She insisted when Nightwing didn't answer immediately.

He stood and turned away from both of the women, feeling emotions he had thought he had killed completely a long time ago. "Yes Star, I will help." He turned back to face them, his face blank. "Why you need the whole team is beyond me though."

"We have always been stronger together than apart." Raven replied before Starfire could say anything.

"At one time maybe, but things change." Nightwing said then sighed, "It's late, do you have a place to stay?"

"We must find Beastboy and Cyborg." Starfire demanded, her tears still falling, but under control.

"We will, but we won't get very far in this without some rest." Nightwing said. He had noticed the dark circles underneath the aliens green eyes and the tautness of her features. If Star was anything like he remembered, and it appeared she was, then she was under a great amount of emotional stress.

"I can rest when my daughter is home, safe." She moved out of Raven's embrace and hovered in front of Nightwing, her jaw set in a remarkable show of stubbornness. Obviously she had lost none of her drive to keep family and friends safe.

"Starfire," Raven's tone was low and calm; she reached back into her memory and her knowledge of her friend. "You must rest, you can't be seen as weak now and if you don't rest then you will be no help to any of us."

Defeated Starfire's shoulders slumped and she turned to Raven, her feet hitting the floor with an audible thump. "You speak truly my friend; I can barely manage flight since this has happened. If you say I must, then I shall rest."

"Is there somewhere nearby?" Raven turned her gaze back to Nightwing, who had watched the interaction and wondered how the two women could seem closer now than when they had last been near each other.

"Up one more floor there are some decent rooms, I set them up just in case." He didn't have to elaborate any further, both women remembered how prepared Robin had always been; yet another trait that had evolved with Nightwing it seemed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, this one popped up fast o.0 It is a more introspective chapter than some of the ones I have been writing and ** **I apologize to Alekin for not getting as deep into detail as I wanted, but every time I tried it seemed as though I was stopping everything to play 'home and garden' magazine lol.**

**The next chapter is already partially written and I should have it up by the end of the week or this weekend at the latest if it keeps flying like it has been. I hope you enjoy :)**

**Please Read and Review :)**

**Disclaimer: They aren't for sale, so I don't own them :(**

Raven woke slowly, taking a moment to orient herself. She had fallen asleep in the chair next to Starfire's bed and she had the crick in her spine to show for it. Moving slowly and quietly she stretched her arms up over her head, closing her eyes and arching her back she felt the knots that had taken root during the night slowly ease away.

"Raven," Nightwing's said her name, his voice cold, belying the emotions that were playing havoc with his body. Memories of her arching for him flooded his mind and he shoved them away with some pain and regret.

Raven stood and turned to look at him, the room was dark. The only light was the moon shining in through the small window, shining directly on her. She appeared to be a goddess of some bygone era and he had to swallow hard before he spoke again.

"Starfire has gone to get Cyborg and Beastboy; she asked that I let you sleep." Slowly but surely he shuttered off each and every one of the emotions that were ripping though him.

"I see," She decided simple phrases would be best with him; if he wouldn't let her in she wasn't going to force the issue. This way would be a lot less painful, she had done what she had needed to, if he couldn't accept that then there wasn't anything left to say really. "I assume you only have coffee around here." She moved across the carpeted floor towards the doorway and his towering presence, glad to have an excuse to get away from him for awhile.

"I have tea," He said quietly moving back to allow her by. "The kettle is on the stove, the mugs are in the cupboards." He didn't acknowledge the measuring glance she gave him; they both knew that he didn't drink tea.

"I could have gone out for it."

"I already had it."

Silence reigned as they walked down the hallway to the stairs, one luxury the tower had that this rundown clock tower didn't was an elevator. The dust was thick on the floor and by the footprints in front of her door Raven could tell that someone had spent quite sometime pacing.

Down the steps they went, slowly and with a good portion of caution. Although Nightwing had the rooms ready, he had done nothing to fix up the stairs or the atmosphere of the place.

'Very reminiscent of a B movie haunted house', Raven thought remembering the movies that Beastboy and Cyborg had often thrust onto the rest of them on movie night.

The stairs creaked when she stepped on them, so she took a page out of Starfire's book and levitated above them. She bit back a smug grin when she realized that the stairs creaked just as loudly when Nightwing walked down them, wondering when her mindset had degenerated back fifteen years.

"The boys are still at the tower aren't they?" Raven startled herself with her statement, she hadn't meant to speak. She tightened the grip she had on herself as they entered his control area, both of them heading for the kitchenette. She was used to silence, she thrived in it; there was no reason for this burgeoning desire to fill up the space between them with words.

"Yeah, Cyborg and Changeling head up the New Titans." His movements were as quick and graceful as she remembered, very little wasted movement. Nightwing had her tea cooling on the table before she could think to object, so she sat and mentally pondered the opposing emotions and actions that she had encountered within herself and him since she had shown up yesterday.

He was determined to keep her at a distance, but he still came to check on her and make her tea. He wanted to know everything that had happened in the absence between them, but he wouldn't ask. How she knew this, she wasn't sure, but she did know that for both of them, falling back into old habits seemed to be happening whether they wanted it to or not.

She was different than she had been back them, fifteen years of enforced solitude had given her an iron grip on her powers; it had given her a better understanding of how they worked and how best to use them. She was able to feel in an almost free manner, bottling up the emotional discharge around her and tapping into that when it was needed. Yet she was much the same, just because she could feel didn't mean she liked it or that she allowed it. She knew better than anyone how little she knew of emotional interaction, when emotions where involved things tended to spiral out of control and Raven hated to lose control of anything.

Nightwing watched her sip her tea and think, even after all this time he still remembered the way her forehead wrinkled when she faced a problem that she didn't know the answer to. He felt the punch to his gut when she turned that amethyst gaze onto him and he wondered if it was normal to want to run away and run to her at the same time.

"I had to leave," Well there went staying silent on the subject, why did she feel so desperately the need to defend her actions? Why did she want to reach across the table and smooth the frown from his face? "I didn't mean to hurt anyone; it was just something that had to be done."

"You destroyed the team Raven," and you destroyed me, he added silently. "You made the decision for the rest of us; you didn't even talk to me about it."

She gave her wry version of a smile, "Really Robin, you think if I had discussed it that you would have just let me go?"

"Its Nightwing now, and no I never let you go Raven." They both noticed that he was speaking in the present tense and not the past. Nightwing shifted his gaze away from hers, taking in the surroundings that were so familiar to him and so foreign with her in them. He'd been waiting for her; searching for her, for the last fifteen years sure that she was in trouble or in need of him. Obviously she had never really needed him; it had all been a delusion in his own mind.

'Just look at her sit there, as composed as always; as beautiful as ever.' Thoughts ran through his mind, tangling past with present.

Raven opened her mouth to speak, whether in apology or protest she wasn't sure, but she was caught by the look in his eyes; the pain she had put there. "You don't have to worry, I won't stay."

Was this a warning or a reassurance? As they sat in silence, neither one of them knew the answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**So yeah...they were just supposed to have a fight here, but Nightwing is never very amenable to anything I want him to do. So here the are, hopefully you'll forgive the length of time since the last update.**

**Enjoy :) Read and Review...I hope the alerts are working again.**

**Disclaimer: Definitely not mine...if they were I would make Nightwing behave better!**

Nightwing stared blankly at the screen in front of him; Starfire had just called in to let them know that they were to meet the rest of the team at the tower in two days. The room was dark, the only light shone in from the stove in the kitchenette across the room and the dull glow of the computer screen.

He ran a hand through his hair before bending over the keyboard to punch in the search parameters that he want to run before they were all together. He thought briefly about crashing on the cot next to the console for an hour or so while the search ran. He hadn't had much sleep since Star had revealed the crisis.

"Be honest," He smirked to himself, "You haven't slept well since Raven left and you've slept even less since she came back."

He leaned back in the chair resting his head and closing his eyes, he dragged his hands over his face. Too many emotions boiled inside of him, he didn't know where to start with her, or if he even wanted to start with her.

Anger seemed the safest and easiest emotion to hold onto, it burned through him like greek fire; nothing could put it out. Yet when he felt the anger, it was so tangled up in the pain of her leaving that it made his heart burn and bleed at the same time.

He wanted to hate her, to be able to push her away; he wanted to be able to look at her and not want to comfort her; to want to wipe away those lonely days she had spent away from him with a kiss on her brow. Hell, right now he would give every penny he had to be able to feel nothing; to simply be blank, but…

"She's everything," He whispered hoarsely, "She always has been, no matter what has happened."

She'd always been the sturdy rock when he needed it; the air he gasped for when the world tried to drowned him. Her face; the memory of her voice had brought him back from the brink more times than he cared to think about. She had been his reasoning voice when his world held no reason, even after she was gone; her memory kept him from buckling under.

When she'd disappeared and he'd realized that she wasn't coming back; something had broken inside him.

"No, not broken." He lowered his hand to rub the familiar ache in his chest. "Shattered."

"You've changed," Her voice drifted in from the doorway, quiet amusement coloring it.

"That surprises you?" He lifted his head and swiveled the chair around to look at her; her hood was over her head, the whiteness of her cloak made her glow in the dim light. "You aren't exactly the same either."

Raven stepped further into the room finally leaning back against the counter that separated the kitchen from the rest of the room; he could feel her eyes on him even if he couldn't see them.

After the abrupt end to their last conversation Raven had left to meditate and now she didn't know how to talk to him; she didn't know what to say to him. The situation was fast flying from her control; she had known this would be hard and painful, but she had thought that eventually he would forgive her. Now she wasn't sure of that, the damage that had been done when she had left had created visible scars on his heart.

Raven felt her own anger rise at this; she had done what she had had to do. Couldn't he see that it had torn her apart every day not to be with the team; to be with him? He wasn't the only person that had been hurt by her decision, how dare he make her feel guilty for what she had done; what she had had to do.

"I'm older and my uniform is a different color." She tilted her head and tried to suck in her anger before it controlled her completely. "Other than that I am not very different."

"I could say the same." He raised his brow at her and sat back in his chair.

"Why are you so angry with me Robin?" She sighed, "I don't expect to be your friend again, but I didn't expect you to hate me this much."

"Hate you?" He choked on a bitter laugh. "I can't hate you; and believe me I have tried. I have tried to hate and I have tried to forget you."

"You seem to have done the second quite well, if your exploits are even half true." Bitterness had somehow crept into her voice before she was aware of it; she shook her head and raised a hand. "No, I shouldn't have said that. It isn't my place," She raised her head and he felt himself caught by her eyes that peered out at him from the shadows. "It never was."

"It was," He argued, "It could have been."

"No, it couldn't of." She stated firmly, closing the subject off from discussion.

"I wanted to hate you," He repeated himself, his tone musing. "I wanted to forget everything about you; the way your lips tilt just slightly when something amuses you; how soft your hair felt against my skin when I held you close. The way your hand felt and the look on your face when you healed me." An intense and secret expression flitted over his features. "I have bedded every woman who would have me in an effort to erase your smell, your touch; to erase every part of you that haunted my dreams. Every action I have taken in the last fifteen years has been to wipe you from my memory. So don't tell me that is couldn't have been, because it was."

"Robin," She said his name softly taking an unconscious step forward; stopping when he shook his head at her.

"I couldn't be Robin, because what was he without Raven? Well Nightwing isn't doing so well without her either."

"Maybe you aren't so different." She heard her voice and wondered where the words were coming from. "You've always obsessed over what you couldn't have, maybe it is time you just let go of the girl I never was."

"What I couldn't have?" His voice low and dangerously calm, "What I can't have?" With lightening quick movements he was out of his chair and across the distance that had separated them.

Raven took and unsteady step back, only to find the counter behind her; he reached out for her and with a jerk pulled her against the hard planes of his body; his eyes burning into behind his mask. He ripped the hood down from her head and stared into those wide; dark eyes that haunted his dreams. "You can lie to yourself all you want Raven; but don't lie to me." He dipped his head and crushed his lips to hers.

He commanded; demanded complete surrender and all she could do was clutch at his arms and give in to the taste of him; the feel of his body against hers.

Nightwing felt his control slipping as soft mewling moans began to come from the trembling woman in his arms. He was drowning in her and he never wanted to come up for air.


	6. Chapter 6

**WOW!, who knew that this would happen...or did happen lol. Raven and Nightwing continue to surprise me in this story...they are quite obstinate too, and a little obtuse lol. Enjoy the little twist that appears here, we should be meeting with the rest of the team fairly soon and discover who the enemy is.**

**Read and Review :)**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

With the ragged edges of his willpower fast dissolving, Nightwing broke the kiss and thrust himself forcibly away from her.

Her face was flushed; her hair mussed and her lips were swollen from his punishing kisses. Her eyes were still dazed as she looked at him, both of them panting heavily. Raven attempted to gather the frayed cloak of her dignity back around her; she tried to pretend that she hadn't acted like a hormone crazed teenager.

"No," She shook her head emphatically, proud that her voice wasn't as shaky as her insides. "No, this isn't going to happen. I will not be part of your ego soothing ritual Nightwing." His name was said on a bitter hiss.

"You might want to wait with the certainties until you're no longer flushed and trembling for me." Nightwing quirked a brow at her, although he did take a step back to keep from pulling her back into his arms and do more than simply kiss her. "Because while your words are saying one thing, your eyes and your body are offering an open invitation Rae."

He said her name with a husky sensuality that drew another shiver from her, and although he was no longer touching her, she could feel the heat of his gaze on her body. "I don't understand you, first you can't bear to be in the same room as me…now, this." She gestured with a hand to indicate the two of them.

"There isn't a whole lot to understand Raven," He stepped back another step, putting his computer chair in between the two of them, flimsy barricade that it was, he needed something to grip onto before her wiped that look of confusion from her eyes and settled the need that both of them had. "I want you, I have always wanted you and it seems that fifteen years apart hasn't changed that."

Raven slowly shook her head, "I am not seventeen any more, and I am not the girl you knew." She repeated her earlier statement, carefully devoid of any challenge this time.

"Trust me Raven; I don't want a girl right now." Nightwing replied ruefully, running a shaking hand through his hair as he steadied his own breathing and the demands of his body.

"This isn't what I came back for," She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, trying to push away the headache that was taking root there.

He gave a mirthless chuckle, "I am well aware of what you did and didn't come back for Raven, but you aren't going to run away from me this time." It wasn't a suggestion, but a statement of pure fact.

"I didn't run away the first time." She insisted, wondering how many times she was going to have to repeat herself before they both believed her.

"Maybe not completely, but you did run from this. I think that what you did was made easier by the fact that what we had…what we have, scares you." He stared into those gorgeous purple eyes and again wondered if it was possible to drown on dry land.

"Scares me?" She smirked with derision, "You forget who I am, what I am…you don't scare me."

"No, but the emotions I bring to the surface do."

"This conversation is getting us no where," She leaned back against the counter again, crossing her arms. "We have to work together to help Star and the children. Your animosity and…" She searched for the right word.

"Lust, desire, needs, want?" He smiled as she shifted slightly in discomfort "Take your pick, all of them work."

"I will not be seduced by you, just so you can prove a point from fifteen years ago. We are not children any longer; emotions and passion have never ruled my life and they won't start now." She narrowed her eyes at him as he threw his head back and laughed.

"How about this Raven," He sat down in the chair; stretching his long legs casually out in front of him. He was going to enjoy this more than he had first thought. As long as he kept his heart out of it, he would be fine. "I won't do anything you don't ask for."

Raven gave a forced smile, knowing there was something behind that grin on his face, but unable to read him clearly. "Very well, then we should get along fine."

Nightwing opened his mouth to say something further when his communications center beeped out an incoming call. Swiveling his chair around he punch in a few buttons and Arsenal's face appeared on the screen, his usual cocky grin in place.

"You've been trying to get in touch with me?"

"I have paged you at least a dozen times," Nightwing said with some exasperation.

"Yeah, well…you know the life of a superhero," Arsenal winked with a smile. "I'm either battling the bad or entertaining the good."

"I don't care about your conquests," Nightwing ground out, "On the street or in the bedroom. You have a communicator so I can get in touch with you; it isn't to screen your calls."

"Who said anything about making it to the bedroom?" He replied with his usual bawdy humor. "Hey who have you got there? A woman with the great Nightwing? I'm astonished 'Mr. Secret Identity' would share his secret lair with anyone."

Raven stepped up a little closer to the screen, Arsenal's gaze widened and for the first time he gave an honest smile. "Rae!"

"Hello Roy," She gave him a soft smile back, although her insides were churning. Nightwing was not going to like this. "How have you been?"

"Good, good," He ran a hand through his messy red hair and grinned at her. "I'm glad you are finally out of that place…you are out for good now, right?"

Raven ignored the suspicious look that Nightwing sent her way and continued to talk to Arsenal. "Yeah, Star came back. It's time now; we are meeting with her and the others at the Tower in two days. We could use you."

"I guess I don't have to keep your secret any more." He winked at her, "You look great,"

"Thank you and no, no more secrets," She replied watching out of the corner of her eye as Nightwing stood up and moved behind his chair, his hands gripping the leather until his knuckles turned white. "Thank you for keeping it for so long though."

Arsenal's expression turned serious, a grim smile touching his lips, "You were there for me when everyone else turned away from me, and I owe you my sanity and my life Rae. Keeping the secret wasn't easy, but I would do anything for you."

"I didn't do anything." She argued.

"You were there," He smiled lightly, returning to his good humor. "You held my hand, and then my head when I was sick. Without you I would have been alone. I repeat, I would do anything for you."

"Then you'll come to the Tower? I meant it when I said we could use you." Raven asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'll be there," He frowned at the sound of a voice off screen. "Two days, I gotta go now Rae, take care of yourself babe."

Raven rolled her eyes skyward at the nickname, as soft smile playing on her lips as the communication ended. The smile fled when she turned to look at Nightwing again.

Silence echoed between them, his eyes held disbelief and pain. Raven almost couldn't bear to look at him, but she wouldn't take the cowards way out and look away.

"He knew?" Nightwing's voice, harsh with pain broke the silence.

At Raven's slight nod, he flung the chair away from him; took a step towards her, then shook his head and with a final glare that bordered on hatred he left the room.

"Well," Raven drew in a breath, "That went better than I expected."

She decided that with this latest development she wouldn't have to be worried about any seduction routine from Nightwing. She felt a sense of relief that that was over, but a keen blade of disappointment speared her as well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Good gods, it has been forever since I have posted anything. A huge apology to anyone out there who still reads this. I spent a very long time in the hospital in June and have been recovering most of the rest of the summer, just as a short synopsis :) **

**Well, back to the story. This is what I wrote, it fits for me now, but part of me wants to chuck. Maybe it is because the gal 'in' this scene has never been a favorite of mine, (I know blasphemy, sorry) but she seemed the perfect person to 'lovingly' tell Nightwing that he was pouting and acting like a child...though I don't know that she did exactly that o.0 danged characters with minds of their own.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and I hope to be able to write much more and update reasonable soon :)**

**Disclaimer: I've been hooked up to an IV pump for way too long to be able to wrestle Nightwing and chain him...but I could give it that ole' college try, in other words, I own none of them and I make no money off them either.**

He was ravaged, not a drop of blood had been spilled, not a punch thrown. He didn't think he would ever be able to breathe correctly again, not while sharing space with her anyway.

Nightwing clung to the shadows that had long been his home, the heart he thought already broken had been firmly shattered with the discovery that Roy had known where Raven was and she had gone to him.

She had gone to Roy at some point in the past fifteen years, but she hadn't come to Nightwing; and that was the knife plunged so deep into his heart he didn't know if he could look at either one of them for a very long time without feeling the pain.

Snow fell softly around him, occasionally a flake would bite at the bare skin on his cheek before melting into oblivion and he briefly envied that kind of nothingness.

"Feeling sorry for yourself?"

The words were spoken directly, with a kind of stark truth that caused him to look around for the speaker before he realized it was coming through his earpiece. "I'm on patrol, its what I do most nights; remember?"

"Ha," Unrepentant the voice scoffed at him, "You are an idiot Nightwing, you always have been when it comes to those you love."

"Like you've been any better at commitment." He replied, thinking this was another dig by the Oracle at his bachelor state.

"I checked the clock tower before contacting you directly." She replied, ignoring his statement and the sting that it caused. "You seem to have acquired a roommate; a very familiar roommate."

"Raven isn't my roommate, she is only here until I figure out how to help Star." He bit the words out; proud of how detached he sounded when he said her name. "Then she will be on her own." And good riddance, he thought quietly.

"Nightwing," He could almost visualize Oracle's head shaking at what she took for his stupidity. "You have a chance for something that most people never get, a chance to forgive and move on." She paused a second, "Or a chance to have something that you've wanted forever."

"I can't" Nightwing replied, "I don't want her." Glad that Oracle hadn't been around to witness his actions a few hours before.

"You're a liar, I talked to her." Oracle began.

"She told you what happened?" Incredulous he almost missed the target when he fired his grappling gun.

"Of course not, but I'm not named Oracle just because its catchy." She said with another shake of her head, although she knew he couldn't see her. "She mentioned you had gone out, told me what was up with Star and mentioned a call from Arsenal, so I hacked your system."

"You did what?" On the roof of a building across from the clock tower he stopped dead in his tracks. "Barbara." His tone had a dangerous chill to it.

"Well she isn't going to tell me what is going on and you sure as hell aren't." Unapologetic she continued. "You're being an idiot, think about what happened a few years back when Arsenal was still Speedy. Maybe you should talk to her about it, find out her side of the story before you write it alone."

"You don't know what you are talking about." A part of Nightwing wished for her to be right, but he didn't think he could spare anymore of his heart to try again.

"Fine," She heard not only the finality of his tone, but the pain in it. "On other matters, if you need a hand with what is going on with Star you only have to ask."

"I might," Glad they were back to familiar terms, he shifted his mind to the task at hand. "I don't want to take you away from your team right now, but if we hit any walls I'll give you a call."

"Sure thing," She closed the channel down and leaned forward on her desk, her head in her hands. She wasn't sure how she felt now that Raven was back, but she knew a part of her was thankful.

She loved Richard, had tried for years to be enough for him. He had never really wanted her though; his heart had always been and would always be Raven's. Barbara had know this years ago and she knew it now.

"They're going to break their hearts to pieces before this is over." She sat in her chair and cried silently for both of them and she cried a little for herself as well.


End file.
